Waterside Sunset

"What do I want to do?” If I were to think before trying to draw, I would start with this question. This question comes in various scenes of life, not limited to art and it can be both casually or seriously.
 
Once you decide 'what,' you become bound not only consciously but also subconsciously and seeking 'how' can sometimes lead to sudden feelings of powerlessness.
Drawing to me, is about using powerlessness as a weapon and 'drawing' when I feel like it. If I don’t draw, nothing will start. A continuous series of decisions and actions create the path of the drawing.
 
The first step. The initial image I attempt to draw will likely be easily shattered by myself in the next moment. Most things transform into something else unexpectedly. And I'm okay with that.
 
There are no answers in decisions. There are no obligations to do things a certain way. It's okay to try to do the right thing, but there's no need to be sceptical about whether it's correct.
Look at the state of the drawing at that moment, decide the next move, and act. By repeating decisions and actions at my own pace, the drawing evolves. Sometimes it collapses to the point where it's untouchable and falls into a state of despair. But without traversing that journey, the drawing won't lead me to unexpected places. In my case, those 'unexpected places' are like flashbacks, limited to certain images. When images engraved in my mind suddenly appear triggered, the drawing comes to an end. It's akin to the moments of Zen meditation or enlightenment.
 
'What do I want to do?' becomes 'What do I want to conclude?' The 'what' doesn't have to remain the same from start to finish. Ultimately, it's good to find one form of 'what I wanted to do.'
What I can do in the drawing is limited. Without being disturbed by the ever-changing process of the drawing, I do my best to respond and decide that this is the end. That's all, I think."